Video: A small fraction of the time I spent watching these early morning exercisers on the Left Bank of the Seine.
I guess I’m a weird traveler these days.
I've been feeling a little insecure, to be honest, about telling inquirers about my Paris trip. People have been (very kindly!) asking me: "Did you go to Versailles?" "Did you see the Moulin Rouge show?" "Did you go to the top of the Eiffel Tower?" "Did you see the Mona Lisa?" And I always just feel like I'm disappointing them with my answer: No, no, no, and no.
Yes, those things are all lovely and exciting to do in Paris. Yes, I love participating in things that will connect me to others (i.e. popular things). But I didn’t do any of those things! Rather, here are some things I did do:
-rode a bike down the Left Bank from Notre-Dame to the Eiffel Tower at sunset.
-had leisurely breakfasts at my hotel.
-walked 30 minutes to a restaurant I remembered from my first (and only other visit) to Paris, 27 years previous.
-sat down in the concourse of the Louvre with a Coke and spent about 45 minutes planning what to see.
-asked someone for a recommendation for a record store that specializes in French jazz, found that shop, and had a wonderful conversation with the owner whilst purchasing a record.
-dined with my tour guides simply because we got along so well.
-napped in the middle of the day.
-made a last-minute decision to visit Bar Hemingway at the Ritz and spent two hours there--drinking the best Manhattans I've ever had and chatting with the bartender.
There's a French term, flâneur, that means "a person who lounges or strolls around in a seemingly aimless way; an idler or loafer: the flâneur, that cool, aloof observer of urban society." (Google) The flâneur was an ideal in the late 1800s, described by the poet Charles Baudelaire as a the observer of modern life. The impressionists memorialized this type of fellow in many a paintings, like Gustave Caillebotte and Edouard Manet:
It's a lifestyle that is still loved by the Parisians, one that I’m sure you recognize in their street cafes and the talk of people-watching. It's completely antithetical to the American/Instagram/TikTok life of mass consumerism. And it's absolutely lovely.
Earlier in life, I traveled in a way that could only be described as fervent. Always in search of the best thing, always racing to defeat FOMO, always wanting to complete the list. It's not awful... you end up seeing a lot! But it wasn't peaceful or healthy for me. I would commonly get sick after returning home. I think it was an affront to my nervous system. I might be a deeply feeling person, or maybe a highly-sensitive person, or maybe an easily over-stimulated person. When I see something that moves me, I get really overwhelmed, often to the point of choking back tears. I score 9.1 out of 10 on Susan Cain's Bittersweet quiz (You can read my quick review of Bittersweet here). I need time to process. Crowds, lines, extreme temperatures, and runs to make reservations are just not for me.
Knowing this about myself now has inspired a new way of traveling—a flâneur way of traveling. Lots of walking around, observing, stopping, resting. A slow, deep-breath way to travel. And I do think there's a way to do this while balancing the FOMO/Type-A/Go-Big-or-Go-Home part of my personality. Here are some tactics I've come up with:
Decide on a theme for your trip. Like New York, London, or any big city, there are a thousand ways to see Paris. And it's impossible to see it all. When I started planning, I decided I would focus on a theme of 19th-Century Paris. This helped me narrow down everything from the art I would see to the sites I would visit. I didn't go to Versailles because it didn't fit the theme of this trip. But I did spend a full day at Musee d'Orsay, including the outstanding Inventing Impressionism show. I did a food tour of the 16th arrondissement (home to 19th-century writer Balzac and lots of art nouveau architecture). You could do so many different themes of Paris: pastry; Princess Diana; Hemingway/Fitzgerald; fashion; Ina Garten; the French Revolution... whatever interests you the most. That's not to say you can't see things off your theme--but it's just a fantastic way to narrow things down. Which leads to number two...
Leave something to come back for. This is a common phrase in my family when you express regret for running out of time. "You have to leave something to come back for!" True, we don't know that we will be back to a location. But leave the possibility open. I always want to think I'll be back to Paris someday, even if it takes 27 years. Don't you?
Go in the shoulder season. When you are planning to do less, you want to try to visit at a time when you are less likely to wait in long lines, i.e. the shoulder season. Late March in Paris is a little chillier than I would have liked, but I was comfortable in a très chic trench coat and much happier with shorter lines. Eric and I went to Italy in late April and there were plenty of empty seats on our plane. September, October, April, and May are fantastic times to visit Europe while avoiding the summer crazy.
Contextualize, contextualize, contextualize. Experiences can be so much richer when we know the context and history surrounding them. Once you've decided on an itinerary, take some time to get to know what you'll be seeing ahead of time. Yes, you might be moved by seeing this touching self-portrait of Elisabeth Vigée le Brun in the Louvre--it's striking without knowing anything about her. But when you know that she was one of only four female painters accepted into the Académie in the 18th century? And that she was a favorite of Marie Antoinette? And that her choice of clothing in this painting aligns her with Raphael while also creating quite a scandal? Well, I think it really elevates the painting. So while you might be seeing fewer things in this "slower" style, you'll be having a richer experience. (Hot take: skip the lines at the Mona Lisa and visit Elisabeth instead).
Schedule some unscheduled time. On this trip, I had one-and-a-half days (out of a five day trip) that were completely unscheduled. I usually place blank space on Day 3 of my itinerary, as I have found that's when my jet lag really kicks in. I kept a list of options in my phone as ideas, but I just did what I wanted to do. I ended up walking around St. Germain, the Latin Quarter, took a nap, and then shopped until a leisurely dinner in the Marais. It was one of my favorite days. I also left many of my mornings unscheduled, which allowed me to have a slow and delightful breakfast at my hotel.
Say au revoir* to social media. At least for your trip. I've been off of Instagram for over a year now (I can hardly believe it!) and I check Facebook pretty erratically. Being outside of the social media mindset allowed me to step back and really be in the moment. I wasn't focused on getting the perfect photo or video, and, more importantly, I wasn't comparing my trip to other people's trips. It allowed me to be a true observer of what was happening around me--a true Parisian flâneur.
Say oui* to the unexpected. When time is left in your schedule, you can easily say yes to the unexpected--like grabbing an aperol spritz with your tour guide! Or giving in to an whimsy--like visiting the iconic Bar Hemingway! The unexpected times are always my most memorable, most-told stories. A trip just wouldn't be the same.
Does this style of traveling appeal to you? Give me a shout if so... I'd love to know that I'm not the only one.
I have two more posts about Paris planned for you: a post on leaning into what you love, even if that's John Mayer; and a post listing all the recommendations (or misses). But please let me know if you have any specific questions about my trip... I know several of you are planning to go in the next few months.
*Am I annoying you with my convenient French? Yeah--I'm that person now.
Santé!
I forgot you were going to Paris or I would have asked about it in person! This sounds so delightful! What a beautiful writeup of your trip with some lovely (and helpful) tips.
Love love LOOOOVE these posts. So inspiring! Thank you Sarah for being so brave to share and step into this adventure.